04/05/2025; All a man needs is his best friend & a desk.
04/04/2025; No more compromiselife. I thought my head was going to get run over & that I would die & I'm not the same anymore. Moving in with Ivy; a shared room & a shared bed on the floor. Fuck Texas. Everything is so small & temporary & endurable now.
03/11/2025; I got hit by a car & lived after. I thought my head was going to get run over by tires & that I would die in a parking lot. Choices.
03/09/2025; Anthony Bourdain’s middle name was MICHAEL!
03/08/2025; My binder.
03/07/2025; Men’s shampoo at Angeline’s.
03/02/2025; Anthony Bourdain lookalike.
02/24/2025; “You don’t look like M— Deadname!” A child’s drawing of Michael on a horse.
02/23/2025; Boyclothes & boyhaircut.
02/22/2025; Dresses in a bag. Crying after a movie.
02/19/2025; I want to be a boy. (I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but it's cute how you think things won't get better for you. Your parents are terrible & you'll move out soon & you want to be a boy & you can be a boy one day.)
02/17/2025; I rode the train again: antisuicidal lightness.
02/10/2025; Looking at the bus ceiling.
02/01/2025; ALL IS GRACE.
01/21/2025; Snow.
01/20/2025; Bird perched against my window after my hawk-bus dream. Look Back & crying for no reason on the phone.
01/09/2025; After crying for lack of snow, deer.
01/07/2025; I felt safe in the morning after a lot of bad days & nights. Then, someone sent me an email with two icons of the Theotokos: One of her Seven Sorrows, another of the Annunciation.
01/04/2025; Long grass in the wind. The form of a dove in church.
01/03/2025; Bird noise sound cassette tape.
01/02/2025; My little bear & scallion trinity eggs.
01/01/2025; Walmart parking lot after shoplifting, bird noises playing loudly on the radio when I started the car: fright-then-delight. After, train crossing in the neighborhood, like seeing an animal, the entirety of Chicago (Demo), Sufjan Stevens, window down.