"If you persevere, in time you will have an entirely different problem – not that life is meaningless, but rather that life has almost too much meaning. "

02/22/2025; Dresses in a bag. Crying after a movie.

02/19/2025; I want to be a boy. (I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but it's cute how you think things won't get better for you. Your parents are terrible & you'll move out soon & you want to be a boy & you can be a boy one day.)

02/17/2025; I rode the train again: antisuicidal lightness.

02/10/2025; Looking at the bus ceiling.

02/01/2025; ALL IS GRACE.


01/21/2025; Snow.

01/20/2025; Bird perched against my window after my hawk-bus dream. Look Back & crying for no reason on the phone.

01/09/2025; After crying for lack of snow, deer.

01/07/2025; I felt safe in the morning after a lot of bad days & nights. Then, someone sent me an email with two icons of the Theotokos: One of her Seven Sorrows, another of the Annunciation.

01/04/2025; Long grass in the wind. The form of a dove in church.

01/03/2025; Bird noise sound cassette tape.

01/02/2025; My little bear & scallion trinity eggs.

01/01/2025; Walmart parking lot after shoplifting, bird noises playing loudly on the radio when I started the car: fright-then-delight. After, train crossing in the neighborhood, like seeing an animal, the entirety of Chicago (Demo), Sufjan Stevens, window down.